Wednesday, March 30, 2016

what do i know?

You know what I think? I think that if I am going to work for free that I may as well clean the house, bake, crochet, read, and blog. And blog often. At least that job is fun.

So why don't I blog more? Don't ask me stuff. I don't know anything about anything.

Apparently.

I recently became an employed person. And then promptly became an unemployed person. I thought I wanted to be employed. I mean, I do. It is what I want. But I don't know that I am quite ready to sell my soul for it. And this is what is happening around here. Of course, I went to university and got a degree. Why would anyone do that unless it is to be employed? I would like to be employed. Eventually. But I would also like to like my job, or at least get paid for a job, because there is a sacrifice that comes with it and so the balance is delicate. Delicate balances need much consideration. Am I right?

What I was not anticipating was that the moment I graduated from University our economy was going to tank.

And tank hard.

I should have anticipated it, because it only makes sense that this would happen to me. These kinds of things happen to me all the time.

The economy tanked so hard that people like me: the smart and (life) experienced (I was naive enough to think that meant something), eager, mature, ambitious and all good things kind of people could not find work. I can't even tell you why I couldn't find work, because out of hundreds of applications in a five month period I got one interview. And then I got that job.

ONE.

One interview. That's it. One. Measly. Interview.

I wasn't thrilled about it either after I met with the Bossman. It was for a small start up that needed a writer.

I write. Right?

So the guy told me what he paid and I think I made a yikes face because he sat straight up and said he could get people to do it for less than that. That was the first moment I caught a whiff of his salesman odour. I replied with a hey, hey. Hold up, big guy. Can I do two projects a month? To which he responded you can do ten a month, I don't care. You go for it.

His first big lie.

But, despite my skepticism, I thought what the heck do I have to lose at this point? I have no other prospects. I'm bored as all get out. Let's give it a go. 

I gave it a big, huge go. And very shortly after I began that go all the red flags raised. I put them off to the side so I couldn't see so them so clearly because I suspected that although this job smelled funny, I was also being a bit of a snob. Plus, what do I know about being a working woman? Not much.

Not much, I say. So I carried on.

A month passed and the scope of work became clear. There was no way on this planet two projects were going to get done a month. Not at the rate Bossman was holding me up and putting me off with his grand vision and potential opportunity speeches.

So, in a fit of frustration, I went to work one day to confront him. I had demands and visions of my own to explain. He beat me to the punch and offered me a raise and a promotion.

Ooooooooh, okay. I wasn't expecting that. I accepted, because like I said before, what do I have to lose at this point? Still nothing to lose since I had nothing anyway. And then Bossman smiled at me and suggested I come "work", for free, until my start date, which was unclear.

Hmmmmmmm................... Let me think about that for a second.

No. Nope. No thank you. No. No siree, Bob. Not gonna happen, Bossman. But....but....but....all the vision......and all the potential.....

I went home to contemplate just how I was going to handle this. I figured if I was going to become venomous I would much prefer doing that via the written word, as my written word is much more beautiful than my raving, lunatic personal performance could ever be.

So I did the classy thing. And by classy I totally mean cowardly. I wrote him an email. It was the most satisfying experience of my life. Well, the second most. Second only to the day Brooklyn came out on DVD and I bought it.

I informed him his charlatan ways don't fly with me. I told him I was onto him and that I'd given him far too much of my free awesome already.

I told him his grand vision and potential opportunity don't pay my bills. I suspect they aren't even paying his bills, but that isn't my problem anymore. I suggested where he might like to stick said vision and opportunity.

So here I sit. In my slippers and pajamas at 1pm on a Wednesday afternoon, unemployed and loving it. Don't tell the man I said that last part. The poor dude had to leave us to go work in Vancouver where the building industry apparently adores the bad economy because there is work there. Lots of it.

So he works there. I don't work here.

See how that works?

I don't know much, but I do know that this chasing a career thing is for the birds. I did not care for my first pilgrimage into careerland. It sucked the rotten egg.