pole dancer

Yesterday I thought I would get all productive in a chaos preemption sort of way. September is not that far away, when you think about it. With four kids sometimes I think it's better to be overly organized than to have August hit alongside the realization that I have yet to register anyone in anything which will, undoubtedly, set into motion a snowballing plethora of emotions that will leave me insomniac-ed and stressed. Registering for funtivities, is what I refer to.

Funtivities is not a word. Nor should it be, since there is nothing fun about what I was organizing and paying for last night.

It pretty much goes like this. Cicely wants to dance. Of course she does. But she has to dance twice a week at the level she's at. Which means I pay for two class, not just one. But then she said she wanted to do three classes, to which I said no thank-you to which she said she would pay for the third herself and arrange it so there wasn't extra driving to which I responded with a bull-crap to which she then found exactly what she said she would find. Then she asked the man for job.

Hahahaha.

Fine. Whatever. As soon as I nailed down her schedule, which is not optional, I found the classes for the boys martial arts that will work, driving wise.

Then there is Amelia.

She also wants to dance. Of course she does. She is a prima ballerina in her heart and soul and therefore she must dance.

"I need to be a ballerina, mama," she said to me.

"Of course you do, lovey," I reply. And she does. I mean, have you met Amelia? It's either ballet class or Princess school. Last I heard Princess school fills up quick and it's kind of pricey.

So her ballet will be the same day as Cicely's ballet but much earlier and will mean that driving to ballet school will be my new lover.

Oh, wait, speaking of lovers.......did I mention yet that the man bid on a job in Edmonton? A big giant job that will take months and months to finish? The boss guy told him he had to do it in 2 months and the man said, "Pashaw. Not a problem." And since I am fluent in trade code language I understood that to mean "if you start it now then it should be done sometime in 2012, right?" To which the response is still the same. "Pashaw, not a problem."

See how that goes? It's like Latin.....only harder.

Anyway, so it looks like he's leaving me to work. Three hours away. I'm trying not to think about it too much. Especially when I am staring at the September schedule.

The one with all the driving.

So I was starting to do my anxious, how am I going to do this, why did I have so many kids, brain ramble last night whilst writing and re-writing the schedule out. I decided to go for a walk. Before I left though I asked some of my sweetest internet/real-life friends to help me come up with something to blog about today. When I got home I reviewed their suggestions. And I concluded there was much to work with.

For example, a suggestion was made about the Zombie Apocalypse. Since I have seen I Am Legend 7 times and I saw The Chernobyl Diaries last week I was confident I had done enough research to go with it. I mean, radiated zombie people living in Chernobyl could totally happen and trust me when I tell you that going to bed that night and seeing them when I closed my eyes instantly made me an expert in their evil workings.

Then someone suggested that they didn't really care about the apocalypse. They wanted to know my contingency plan.

Well, that's easy. Since my cardio isn't awesome right now I figure I'd have to invite them for dinner and let them eat my brains. A whole 'if you can't beat them, join them' sort of thing. I don't know why people are so down on Zombies anyway, they seem to know what they want in life and they're very persistent.

Ambition and persistence are key factors in success. You can't argue that.

Plus, I think where zombies are concerned, it might be the only way.

Decent plan? I think so.

Then Sarah suggested I go for a run and hurt myself. She's mean like that. And then the thread got derailed by a plus sized, bikini clad, pole dancer.

And that's when the wheels seriously started to turn....................