the universe is a liar

So, I decided to read my horoscope today. I thought it was about time I understood what the Universe has in store for me. And wow. I don't even know where to begin.

Turns out my "restless need to accomplish more and break free of present limitations may inspire me to seek a new relationship."

There is one thing I know for certain today and that is that I'm too damn tired to seek out the relationships I already have. Never mind a new one.

But then it went on to say, "This doesn't mean getting rid of the old ones, it may mean a new friend or just adding to your current circle."

Ugh........that sounds tiresome.

And then there's this, "Work and other responsibilities are particularly irksome to you at this time. You feel like it is "play time" and you want to get out, laugh, play, and sing."

Housekeeping is definitely irksome. But it always has been so today maybe I'll steer clear of it entirely. But I want to sing? Okay, this may be true but every time I do sing the people beg me to stop. It's so very hurtful. Maybe it's because I am not laughing and playing as well. Maybe if I laughed and played at the same time I sang the people might be more welcoming of my 'fun' side.

And I am fun......see?

"Parties and social gatherings also appeal to you now, and you enjoy meeting new people."

My horoscope says so, but I do have just one teensy question: Hey Universe, Have we met?

"You are in a festive mood, and your happy mood is contagious; others join in the fun with you."

Ohhhhhh Universe, Now I am certain we have not met. I think I'm on to your lying ways.

"This is a wonderful time to have a party, engage in team sports, or vacation. Hard work and concentrated effort are difficult for you now, and productivity at work is likely to decrease, particularly if your line of work requires concentrated effort."

Hmmmm? What was that? Oh am I supposed to be concentrating?

All right, focus, let me get this straight. I should have a party and then join the local all female basketball team and then hit the beach? Hmmmmmm, 2 out of 3 ain't bad, Universe. I might be coming around to your wild and crazy ideas.

"You are still intently focused on other people, though you may broaden your scope somewhat today. You can get people to see things your way using your famous friendly persuasion."

Famous.

Friendly.

Persuasion.



All right. That's it. We're done here. Now I am not only certain that the Universe and I have never been formally introduced, like in person, but I am full blown convinced that it is mocking me.

Rude, rude Universe.