the man moves out

Last night I had a dream.

In it I was in a wide open city in a valley surrounded by mountains all the way around. I was trying to find my family by calling from my iPhone. I couldn't get the phone to work. There were many men sitting at a table talking to each other and staring at me. Every time I tried to use my phone I was in the room with them. The room had no ceiling and expansive views of the mountains.

I was so frustrated. I kept having little tantrums where I would yell at the phone. And then yell at the men, "Why doesn't my phone work?"

Then there was an avalanche. It was huge and we thought it was going to hit us. I thought I was going to die. I was terrified but then it passed right beside us and buried a city I knew my mom was in. So I tried to call her. My phone didn't work.

"WHY DOESN'T MY PHONE WORK??" I was shrieking. I thought I was going mad.

Then, one of the men stood up and said "You know why your husband won't answer the phone right? Because you act like this. No one likes you. No one wants to deal with you. You're like a 2 year old. This is why he won't answer the phone."

I was dumbfounded. I tried to tell him that my husband would answer the phone. That it wasn't an issue of people not wanting to deal with me. My phone wasn't working. That's all it was. My phone wasn't working. I tried to tell them but my words wouldn't come out.

All the men just looked at me with their eyebrows raised and their shoulders shrugged. My feelings were so hurt. I was so sad. So frustrated.

Strange dream, huh?

Soooo.......What's going on around here? Not much of anything fun. I ordered glass for the en suite and a few other places in the house. I have had three front entry door quotes and because I refuse to spend $4000 on a new front door the old front door still looks like crap. I have had three garage door quotes and it turns out that getting a new door for a vaulted garage is only about 342 times harder than you'd think. I installed 29 pot light trims. There are 30 but one is a real nuisance. So I thought I'd let the man do it. Why should I have all the fun?

Oh, wait. But the man moved out.

He packed a suitcase and moved out. He went to live in Fort MacMurray in a two bedroom apartment with a chain smoker.

I wonder if my dream has anything to do with this........

One guy came over to quote the garage door, Tony. I showed Tony the door the man already bought but hadn't installed. Tony said he didn't think it would work because there are low headroom issues. He said he'd quote something out for me involving a different new garage door.

A couple of days later he called to tell me he had done some research and thought that we'd be able to use the door already purchased if I got some low headroom rails. If I wanted to, I could return the rails I already had. OR......he'd do it for me, if that would be easier.

It is here that I played the useless female card. I told him I had no idea what I was doing and would really appreciate the help. "No, problem", he said. "I'll take care of it", he said.

Today he called to say he searched the city and found some rails. He thought he was going to have to special order them but upon further searching he found some. He'd be happy to come install my garage door for me.

I wonder if my dream has anything to do with this. Maybe there is some guilt for playing dumb. I could have found those rails myself but I knew he'd be better and faster at it. This knowledge doesn't negate that fact that I played dumb. Sometimes I am dumb but dumb doesn't know it's dumb when it's legitimately dumb. When dumb knows it's dumb? Then dumb isn't dumb, it's just playing dumb. I was playing dumb. Or maybe I was delegating......

Say dumb ten times fast.

Tomorrow I am going on a road trip with the children to visit my mom and dad. I wonder if my dream has anything to do with that.

I have PMS and sometimes I want to throw a tantrum and yell at people, just like a two year old. I wonder if my dream has anything to do with this.

On Monday it will be two weeks since the man moved out. It will be the longest we have ever gone without seeing each other in the 16 years of our knowledge of each other's existence. It's a long time. But he is coming home so you can stop having a heart attack now. When? I don't know. Three weeks, maybe four.......It bugs him when I use the term 'move out'. But he packed a suitcase and lives in an apartment. What else should I call it?

He's working. Out of town. And it stinks. The bad economy has finally trickled down and hit the trades. Or at least my trade.

Fingers crossed he finds work here. That he doesn't hurt himself there. And that he doesn't fall in love with his chain smoking roommate and never come home.