all things awkward

It's Friday. Which I love love love. And I love it because it means that I survived another Thursday. I hate Thursdays, they are brutal. Yesterday I was gone from 8:30 am until 10 pm.

That's brutal, right?

Part of that was my fault. I showed up an hour early to pick up my sassy teeanger from her dance class. I had nothing with me to do or read so I was forced to play on facebook on my iPhone for an hour.

Forcibly forced. Against my will. Yes. I was.

You don't believe me, I can tell.

I had lots of time to think and this is what I thought about. My clothes. I thought about my clothes and how since I've gone back to school I have to wear big girl clothes every single day. I don't have very many big girl clothes and wearing the same thing over and over actually feels awkward, more than anything.

And a bra. I have to wear a bra every single day. And mostly all day. And how wrong this just seems to be. Bras are awkward. And awful.

I thought about how crappy my clothes are because I don't really have any. I have sweats and t-shirts and grungy, depressive, wear-around-the-house-and-never-ever-ever-in-front-of-actual-people kind of clothes. But real clothes??

This reminds me. Let's update my weight loss, shall we? It might explain some stuff. It was my birthday last Wednesday and some time earlier this year I committed to losing 30 pounds by my birthday.

What was I thinking? I don't know.

Did I do it?

Nope. No, I did not do it. Did I lose any? Yep. I did.

Twenty-six pounds.

Or ventisei. As the Italians like to say.

And you know what? I'm cool with it. Actually, I'm perfectly happy with it and very proud of it and it's 4 pounds short but so what? It's 26 pounds away from where I was 4 months ago. And that is 26 pounds of pure awesome, right there.

So back to my clothes. I want to go buy clothes but I really shouldn't until I can fit back into all the wicked clothes I bought the last time I lost a ton of weight.

Yes, we've done this before. Sigh.

Are you still all wondering how I am doing it? I know some of you are because I get emails asking.

Well, I'll tell you but not today because it's a whole post on it's own and I need to do it justice. Plus, this is not at all where I thought this was going.

I did buy a new pair of pants yesterday (two sizes smaller than the last pair I bought) to help get me through the awkward my-pants-are-too-big-but-I'm-still-too-fat-for-the-pants-I-already-own phase.

That was really hard to type.

So, raise your pop to smaller pants, a 26 pound weight loss, having no clothes and these here flowers I got for foster parent week which is so wrong considering I haven't fostered in 3 years.

Talk about awkward......