for whom the gong tolls. part 2

So I married a man who can basically do everything.

If ever a wonderful Wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because because because because
Because of the wonderful things he does!

I don't know why that song popped in my head but it often does when the man is around.

I grew up in a home where when stuff broke someone got paid to fix it. I have three brothers who are all the same way. If stuff breaks someone gets paid to fix it. Even after 16 years with the man I can't get over the man's attitude when stuff breaks. Which happens a lot, wouldn'tyousay? I'll fix it he says.

So where were we? Oh yeah, broken hot water tanks that leak everywhere. The thing still leaks and he needs to get a part.

"But can you fix it?" says I with a hint of panic in my voice.

"Of course I can," says he with a hint of offense in his.

Fast forward from hot water tank to Monday May 9, 2011. I am at martial arts with my boys. If you took traffic away martial arts is about 25 minutes away from my house. Not so far. Totally doable. With traffic it takes an hour, exactly one hour, to get there. It's a nuisance. Anyway, I usually sit in the car to read while they are inside getting their martial on because, well, I like to read.

When the boys came out, they hopped in and I started to back my truck out of it's spot.

THUNK

I was stuck. I couldn't go forward or backward. I was half in, half out. I was blocking the entry and or exit to the parking lot.

Okay, let me digress for a moment. I'm pretty tough, or so I think. I can put up with a lot of crap if I have to. I like to refer to myself as a princess but if I were a princess I would be the kind of princess who likes to be spoiled but could and would go to battle if need be.

I do have my limits though. And car trouble tops the list. I am not good with car trouble. Especially when I'm tired. And super especially when I am sitting half in and half out of a parking stall in a really busy parking lot full of irritable parents and hungry kids who just WANT TO GO HOME.

A man hopped out of his car and told me he heard the thunk and he thought I broke my axel and that I wasn't going anywhere. He did manage to help me get the truck rolled sort of out of the way so people could go around.

"Sorry about that but you are really broken. Good luck to you!" Um, thanks, I guess?

I called the man. I told him I was broken. I told him to come and save me because I was in dire need of being saved.

"I'm on my way."

Meanwhile, I sat there waving people around me with a very apologetic look on my face. That look quickly went away when one ignorant young woman honked at me and motioned for me to move out of her way. When I waved her around she called me a b****.

Rude, right?

One person, other than the original gentleman, stopped to see if I needed help. One person!

Rude, right?

The man showed up, towed me out of the way and got under the truck. He stood up, announced he needed to get a part and would back in a sec.

"Wait, what? A sec?" Too late, he was gone. A short time later he showed up and said that the part would be in tomorrow.

"I'll tow you home after I temporarily fix the tie rod." Out came the duct tape and under my truck went the man.

One chain and one rope later and we are on our way. I was so stressed out I thought my bowels would betray me. Too much? I wanted to run to Mac's and buy one of every chocolate bar they had and shove them down my throat. I wanted to eat.

It's been awhile since I was that stressed out.

Crowchild, Glenmore, Blackfoot. These are the roads I take to get home. If you know Calgary then you know these are not side roads. When I was parked safe and sound in front of my un-sellable house the man unhooked me and told me I did a good job.

Thanks. Can I puke now?

Last night he picked up the $54 part and fixed my truck.

The man is a wizard-ish, rock star-ish, knight in shining armor who happens to be married to a princess who is prone to bad luck. And together we put on a regular show of ridiculousness and frustrating hilariousness I like to call the "gong show."

Admission is free.