the nonexistent skinny

You know how many times I broke a sweat this week?

ZERO.

That's right. You read that right. I did not work out at all.

Let's psycho analyze, shall we?

At first I thought I was coming down with something. My head was killing me. My stomach hurt. I felt exhausted beyond words. Diet Pepsi tasted bad. What the, huh??

Yes, I couldn't get it down.

The only time this has ever happened to me is when I'm pregnant.

So...... guess what?


I'm not pregnant. Sorry mum if that gave you a heart attack. Going back to the reasons I was a loaf this week. Oh yeah, here's one. I got my period and it was brutal. Honestly, I thought I was sick, like ill, like with the flu or something, because I was suff.er.ing.

Anyway, things got better in that area and I was still feeling poorly. People said it was the weather. I still think I had a bug though because since when does a little rain make one want to curl up in a ball and die in a corner all alone?

Since it makes the roof leak into bedrooms and into the basement. That's when.

So the man fixed that as much as possible without actually ripping it off and putting on a new one. New leaks are popping up all over the place and I am hoping all this rain will help the money tree I planted in the back yard grow real fast like. The weeds are going strong and are almost as tall as me so I am hopeful the tree will start to produce real soon like. You know?

Back to the no sweating thing. I finished all five seasons of Friday Night Lights last weekend so I thought maybe my desperate depression was induced by this fact and it may be the reason I don't wander into where the treadmill is anymore. I still think this has something to do with it but I would never admit that because that is pathetic.

I started watching it again. Sort of..... Don't tell the man.

I did not just say that out loud.

I feel like a camel. And the universe is delicately placing things on my back trying earnestly to find the straw that will break it. I am tough though, with a really strong back so there is a lot balancing going on upon my one hump wonder.

I don't want a broken back so I hide out on occasion in the hopes that the universe can't locate me to put one more leak or one more bill or one more broken truck or broken truck related thingie or one more field trip that costs $200 on my back. Something has to give.

This week it was the exercise and a few of the stupid rules. Man, those rules. Whose idea was that?

Regret hasn't hit me yet. I don't feel bad about not working out. I'm not lying when I said something had to give. I mean, honestly people, I had to go to Superstore this week. What more do you want from me?

In the meantime, I am hunkered down over here, with a crashing headache that I am blaming wonky barometric pressure for (is that even possible?) with my fingers crossed that the rain will stop ruining my drywall and that the one butt who fits my house will come over soon and witness it's awesomeness, despite the water stains which I will attempt to fix this week when they've dried up, and that the kids will stop asking me, real soon like, when we are moving.

You know?