and then she ate all the cheese

I taught the puppy to ring a bell hung from the back door every time she wants to go out to potty. There were moments when I thought she would never get it. Just like I thought she would never walk herself to the door to go potty. And just like I thought she'd never walk her tired butt to her bed to sleep.

She was getting heavy. All that carrying. I wondered if she wasn't a tad broken. Knowwhatimean? Not all there. A little off her rocker.

But then she began to walk herself to and fro according to my will, not hers.

After I hung the bell at the door I rang it every time I took her out. Hour by hour by hour, I rang the bell.

Then one day she wandered back there and waited for me. When I didn't come she rang the bell. I was so pleased I cheered and loved on her and gave her cheese.

The girl loves her cheese.

The next day she peed on the floor and I went back to being convinced she would never learn.

Then one day she rang the bell twice. And three times. And then she rang the bell every time. She never peed on the floor again.

Now I hear, 376 times a day, ring ring ring......

The constant bell ringing pleases my senses and frustrates my daily chores. Up and down and in an out and ring ring ring....

The girl will do anything for a piece of cheese. Including ring that little yellow bell endlessly. And walk herself there and then back to her kennel when she's told to. She is obedient now. Or at least well on her way.

And then she ate all the cheese. Joke's on her, I guess. She goes and rings the bell and I let her out and she dribbles a pee pee into her potty and then comes in and I give her a cheerio because she ate all the cheese.

She still rings that bell, though, and one day I will go back to my hell place, the grocery store, and buy her some more cheese and we will teach her to roll over and play dead.

Bang bang bang.

Because this is what dogs are for, or so I've been told by her loving owners. They shake a paw. They roll over. They play dead.

Last night I took her to the potty one more time. I tucked her into her bed. I closed the the front door to her kennel like I do every night. I covered her bed with a blanket, because she likes it like that.

Sometime in the night the man whipped himself out of bed and I watched him take a left down the hall instead of a right into the bathroom. I was confused. I told him to wake me if sick little Amelia cried in the night. Where was he going? I took out my ear plugs and listened. I looked at the clock, 2 am.

I heard the bell. I heard the door open and shut and then open and shut again. I heard whispers of "good girl". I heard the pitter patter of little paw feet. I heard the kennel door shut and latch. I felt the man climb back into bed.

"Was she crying in her kennel?" I asked in my sleepy stupor.

"No, she was ringing the bell." He responded in his sleepy stupor.

"What?"

"You must not have latched the kennel properly and she got out and rang the bell."

"I must go buy some cheese. That is one cheese worthy puppy."

"Zzzzzzzzz............"